


Lullaby

by LunarSinner



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Brother-Sister Relationships, Developing Relationship, F/M, Friendship/Love, Self Confidence Issues, Suicidal Thoughts, Verbal Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-06
Updated: 2014-03-06
Packaged: 2018-01-14 20:44:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,969
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1278292
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LunarSinner/pseuds/LunarSinner
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Sansa looks so empty, almost shell shocked. She was alright when we picked out the tombstone, but now, I’m afraid for her.” Robb whispered, he was on the verge of tears. Tears of frustration and anger, tears of sorrow, and tears he had been holding back for days.</p><p>Sandor nodded, “Something isn't right with the Little Bird, usually when I have this feeling something bad happens every time. I’ll keep a close eye on her from now on.” Both men looked at one another and nodded in an understanding.</p><p>They were both very afraid for a woman they both loved.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lullaby

**Author's Note:**

> I have to warn you guys that there is some issues involving self-harm situations, if you are easily offended by this subject, please don’t read this and make yourself upset.
> 
> I have based this song off of Lullaby by Nickelback
> 
> Sansa is 18, Sandor is 22, Robb is 26, Jon is 24, Rickon is 3, Arya is 16, Joffery is 20, Ned was 47, Catelyn is 45, Jeyne is 24, Ygritte is 23, Gendry is 17, Brann is 15

It was all too much.

I could handle the death of my father who died from a car bomb in the war. It hurt, and I cried a lot, but I had my brothers, my sisters, my mother, and I thought I would have my boyfriend supporting me.

I was wrong, so very wrong.

I had missed a few days of school, helping my mother prepare for the wake and funeral service. I had helped her pick out the flowers, the coffin, and his tombstone. I had tried to call Joffrey to see if he had wanted to come along, but instead he ignored my phone calls. At first his phone would ring a few times and then go to voice mail. I had tried to call him back a few hours later but after three rings it went to voice mail. He knew my father had passed away, he knew of what I was doing with my family. He knew I was hurting.

I should have stopped calling him, but I couldn’t sleep that night, so I gave him another call. It went straight to his voicemail, he changed his voicemail. “You have reached Joffrey I’m sorry I’m not able to reach the phone at the moment, unless you’re a stupid bitch who can’t get the hint to fucking leave me alone. You’re shit isn’t my problem, get the fuck over it already.”

I hung up my phone and threw it at the wall screaming with tears streaming down my face. Sobbing, my head was spinning, I felt a bitter taste in my mouth as I started to gag. I stood up as quickly as I could and made it for my bathroom. I threw up whatever little I had eaten for dinner that night. After a few dry heaves, I calmed myself down. Tears silently fell down my face as I flushed the toilet. I walked over to the sink, my whole body shaking.

After washing my flushed face and brushing my teeth, I placed both hands near the sink and leaned towards the mirror. I starred deeply into my eyes in the reflection. My eyes were swollen and bloodshot, I almost didn’t recognize myself. I thought of my father and thought how upset he would be if he saw me this way. I glared at my reflection, “Maybe Joffrey is right, maybe I am stupid.” I rasped as I grew angry at myself. I started to strip off my clothes, deciding that a hot shower might calm myself down.

I took a deep breath as the warm water hit my skin, I turned the knob to the hottest setting thinking that the water wasn’t hot enough, I bit my lip and hissed as the hot water splashed against my back. It hurt, but it felt good at the same time. I shook my head as I laughed at my own thoughts. The tears had stopped flowing, but my heart still ached. I washed my hair with my favorite coconut scented shampoo, and rinsed out the suds with the hot water.

My back started to go numb from the hot water, I decided to lower the heat of the water, my body once again started to shake. The death of my father had a tremendous impact on my family, and I tried to stay strong for them, but after going through the coffins and picking out the tombstone it had hit me. This was real, it wasn’t a dream, and my father was really gone forever.

He wouldn’t be there for my highschool graduation this summer, he wouldn’t be there to see me in my prom dress before I left for the prom. He wouldn’t be there if to walk me down the aisle for when I got married. In the mix of my thoughts I had rubbed conditioner into my long hair. I let the conditioner soak into my hair as I started to shave my legs. Not paying attention to what I was doing, I accidently cut the outer part of my left thigh. I gasped at the stinging sensation but watched as the blood flowed out of the small cut. The blood ran down my leg, mixing with the heated water. 

I stared at the cut, I felt so numb thinking about my father, and I felt numb since we received the news of my father’s passing. As I washed the blood away with water, I continued to shave my legs, but being more careful. The cut wasn’t that large or that deep, it was just a small nick. I smiled at the thought of seeing my blood flowing, it was almost like a river, it was proof that I was still alive. I giggled at the thought of thinking that the blood flowing was almost like a river of life.

I immediately felt disgusted with myself at my thoughts, I usually hated the sight of blood. I bit my lip and forced the thoughts out of my head and started to wash the conditioner out of my hair. I sighed at the feeling as my finger nails grazed my scalp. I always loved the feeling of someone playing with my hair, it always relaxed me. I smiled softly as I turned off the water and stepped out of the shower, I grabbed a purple, fuzzy towel and started to dry myself off. 

I glanced down at my little cut and saw that the blood had stopped dripping out of it. I licked my lips as I searched in my medicine cabinet for a band aid. I smiled when I found my pink and purple band aids, I took one out of the box and opened up the wrapper. I gently peeled off the plastic coverings and placed the pink band aid on my cut. I looked at my reflection and smiled, I looked and felt a lot better after the hot shower. After rubbing the towel against my head and hair, I walked into my room and put on a large tee shirt. I grabbed a brush and began to brush the knots out of my damp hair as I looked around my room. 

I spotted my cell phone that was laying against the corner of my wall and floor. I felt guilty for throwing it as I put my hair up in a ponytail with a blue, silky ribbon. Walking slowly over to my phone, I bit my lip softly, bent down and picked up the phone. Touching the screen to unlock it I saw that I had a new text message. I quickly checked it, smiling, thinking it was Joffrey. 

"Has the Little Bird finally given up on the prick?"

Letting out a giggle as I read Sandor’s text, I quickly felt guilty. Yeah Joffrey was my boyfriend, and Sandor was one of my close friends, but he was always hanging around Joffery. Cersei, Joffrey’s mother, had hired Sandor as a bodyguard after he had stopped his older brother from crushing Joffrey’s head against the gym lockers. Joffrey never knew about his mother hiring Sandor, he always thought that Sandor hung around him because they were friends.

Sandor had told me the truth after I had asked him why he was always around Joffrey if he seemed to hate him so much. He then asked me in return why I was even wasting my time on a bastard like Joffrey. I didn’t have an answer for him, I still don’t. I thought I loved him, I thought he was a different person, but lately I’ve been seeing things I either ignored at first or that he hid from me. Joffrey had a nasty temper, and he was cruel with his words. He never cared who he hurt, he just always wanted what he wanted. His mother made sure he always got what he wanted as well.

I tried calling him three times, I’m done trying to contact him. I thought after my father’s death he would be there for me, especially since he knows what it’s like to lose a father.

Sandor and I had met in high school, I was a freshmen while he was a senior. Joffrey was a sophomore at the time and already had Sandor hired behind his back as a bodyguard. At first I was afraid of his eyes, always glaring at everyone who walked past him. He always wore his long black hair covering his face from the world. Hiding his scars from the damage his brother caused.

One day I stayed after school to make up an English test, and it was storming badly outside. I finished the test earlier then I had thought, and Robb was supposed to pick me up within thirty minutes after five, the time he got out of work. I finished my test around four fifty, most of the teachers had left the school leaving the buildings empty.

I sat outside under the podium, wishing that I had charged my cell phone the night before since it died early that morning during my geometry class. I was lost in my own day dreams watching the rain fall from the sky, slightly humming a Nickelback song.

Sandor had snuck up behind me and lightly gave my right shoulder a shove. “This is my spot Little Bird.”  
I had turned and shot the man a glare, not knowing who it was who lightly pushed me. He glared back, his black hair was slightly damp and he was in his football uniform. I giggled at what he had called me and slowly stood up. “Little Bird? I’m sorry I didn’t know you liked this spot.” 

I walked around the round table and sat down across from where I was originally sitting. I grinned at him as he sat down in my seat. He smirked, “Well now you know, I appreciate you for keeping my seat warm for me though. My ass sure enjoys it that’s for sure.”

I had let out a gasp at his words and then let out a small giggle, “I suppose you’re welcome.” He looked taken back from my amusement but then he glared at me once more. “Aren’t you supposed to be home, at your nest by now?” I shook my head, “I had an English test to make up for being sick last week. What about you? I mean practice is over isn’t it? You can surely drive yourself home or to Joffrey’s?”

He let out a soft sigh, and clenched his fists, cracking his knuckles. “You chirp too much. I don’t need your approval to sit down and relax before I head home, Do I?” Sandor growled out. I licked my lips and a loud thunder clap echoed, I jumped at the sound but then turned my attention back to the large man who sat in front of me.

“Chirp too much? I just figured I’d ask since you asked me a question first. No reason to be so rude.” I ran my fingers threw my hair, I glanced at the clock behind him and sighed when I realized that only a few minutes had passed by. I would still have to wait a half an hour for Robb. I glanced at Sandor who was looking down at his hand, he was picking at some hangnail that was near his thumb.

He must had felt my eyes on him because he glanced up and glared at me, “What?” he barked out. “Doesn’t that hurt?” I had asked while glancing at his face then back at his hand. “Fuck it doesn’t hurt, it’s just fucking annoying. Been bothering me all damn day.” I let out a sigh as he went back to trying to pick at the hang nail. I turned and opened up my book bag, searching for my nail clippers in a smaller inside pocket, “Here stop doing that, you’ll end up peeling most of your skin off.” I grabbed the nail clippers and stood up, making my way over to him, I sat down next to him and held out my left hand. “Let me see.” I said as I looked into his eyes. His glare softened, but he growled as he violently turned his head away and placed his hand into mine none too gently.

I gently clipped away the piece that was bothering him for much. “There, now you don’t have to rip away your skin anymore.” I smiled softly as I stood up and made my way over back to where I was sitting. He turned his head back to me, and then looked at his thumb, “Yeah right, like that would have made a difference. Maybe another scar for an ugly fucker like me would be more fitting.” 

“You’re not ugly.” I said suddenly, blushing as the words fell from my mouth. “Stop fucking mocking me Little Bird. I’m not fucking stupid, I know what I am.” I glared at him, “I’m being honest, and I’m not one to lie.” Sandor had let out a sarcastic chuckle. “I’m so sure, a pretty Little Bird like you adores men like me. Is that why you’re with the pretty boy Joffrey? Is that why the girls fancy Renly or Loras? Because they have such vicious scars? Or wait, that’s right Little Bird, they don’t have scars they’re just fucking boys with a fucking pretty face. Too bad most boys with pretty faces are complete assholes underneath.”

My bottom lip twitched as I held back my tears, “You know,” I took a deep breath to calm myself, “I wasn’t lying, I don’t think you’re ugly. But you’re right about one thing, guys with nice faces are complete assholes underneath their skin.” I finished with a glare. I had grabbed my book bag and started to stand up. I slung my bag over my shoulder, and started to walk away until he got up and grabbed my wrist.

“Little Bird I’m-“

“Enough with the pet name! No need to be a jerk any longer, I got the hint, I’ll leave you alone.”

“My truck is in the shop.” He sighed.

I turned around to face him, “What?”

“You asked why I was here, I’m waiting out the storm so I can walk home.” He had let go of my wrist.

I guessed that was as close as I was going to get with an apology with him, so I just smiled up at him and walked slowly back to the table, but this time I sat down next to him.

“My brother should be here around five thirty or so, want a ride?” I asked while looking into his eyes.

“I don’t need a sympathy from a Little,” he paused, “from a girl.”

“It’s not sympathy, and it’s okay.” I mumbled.

“What is okay?” he growled out.

“It’s okay to call me Little Bird, I kind of like it.” I grinned up at him. He smirked back in return. His eyes lost the usual anger they held, and there was a small hint of happiness with in them. 

A half an hour passed quickly as we talked about our classes, and how we both enjoyed stuffed crust pizza Friday. I told him that instead of sitting in the corner at the lunch table like I usually did, I was going to sit across from him at the table so we could talk more. I told him about I was kind of worried about what Joffrey would think of the new seating arrangement and he let out a deep laugh, saying fuck Joffrey, that he would be there to make sure the little bitch wouldn’t do anything in spite.

When Robb had pulled up it was till pouring out, I ran to the car and asked my brother if he could give Sandor a ride home. He actually knew of Sandor from when he was a senior in high school and had gotten out of the car to offer Sandor a ride home. Sandor shook Robb’s hand and accepted his offer, giving him a thank you and letting him know where he lived.

We had dropped Sandor off at his house, which wasn’t too far from our own house. He had turned and gave us a wave with his two fingers and nodded his head. I rolled down the window and waved goodbye to my new friend.

My phone vibrated bringing me out of my thoughts and my memories.

"You should know by now Little Bird that he doesn’t give a shit about anyone but himself. I don’t think he even gave a fuck when his father died."

Sandor was now in college, going for mechanics, we still kept in touch quite a bit after his graduation. He even gave me tickets to be there for his graduation, I intend to do the same with him this year. He has always been there for me during the year we had together in school. 

"It hurts Sandor, I thought I could be strong for my family, but it’s so hard."

Whenever Joffrey and I hung out after school or on weekends, Sandor would be there. Joffrey and I never really went on dates, we just did things he wanted to do, sometimes with his other friends as well. I frowned, at the thought. I really thought I was in love with this kid, but the more I thought about him the more stupid I felt. I wasn’t happy with him, I never really was. 

"What time is the wake tomorrow?" 

Tears started to fall from my eyes, my eyes burned from crying so much. But I smiled at Sandor’s question, it showed he cared. At least someone cared.

"It starts at two, but we’re going there around one." 

I started to crawl into my queen size bed. I lifted up my white micro fiber blanket and slid my legs under the soft blanket. I sighed as my eyes felt heavy.

"I’ll come by your house around noon. We’ll go together."

I smiled at his text, re-reading it over and over again. I felt a warmth spread through my chest, the tears had stopped flowing at that point and I let out a tired sigh.

"I’ll see you then, thank you Sandor for being here for me. I’m going to try and get some sleep, goodnight."

I closed my eyes, and felt my phone vibrate once more. I glanced at Sandor’s new text.

"Goodnight Little Bird."

I grinned to myself once more as I slowly let the sleep take over me.

/././././././././././././././.

 

“Wake up Sansa!” I felt a soft shove at my side. I moaned as I groggily opened up my eyes. Arya stood next to my bed side, her eyes were bloodshot from crying as well.

“It’s almost ten, you have to start getting ready.” Arya said softly.

I sat up quickly, and grabbed my sister pulling her into a hug. She started to sob quietly into my shoulder, as I cried in return. It was unlike Arya to cry, but she was closer to my dad then I was. His death was hard on her, but she was strong like him. She hadn’t cried when she found out, she hadn’t cried when we picked out flowers, the coffin, or the tombstone. I admired her strength, but one can only hold back their tears for so long I thought to myself.

Arya quickly pulled away and wiped her face with her arm. She was already dressed in a black blouse and black slacks. She had cut her long hair after dad died, her hair was now slightly below her ears. Mom wasn’t too happy about the new style, but she hadn’t scolded Arya knowing what she was going through.

“Sandor’s coming around noon, he’ll be going with us.” I whispered as I calmed myself down. Arya made her way towards my bedroom door, and glanced back at me. “What about Joffrey?” she growled out. She hated Joffrey with such a passion. I never understood it before, but now I’m starting to see it. Maybe it had to take something tragic to happen for my eyes to open, it was a sad idea but it could be the truth for all I know.

“I couldn't get a hold if him yesterday.” I bit my lip.

Arya clenched her fists and her jaw. “He’s such an asshole Sansa.”

I nodded, “I know, I’m sorry.” I turned my head towards where she was standing. She had a look of shock on her face. This was the first time I ever admitted that Joffrey really was an asshole, and that Arya was right.

She nodded her head and walked out of my room, shutting the door behind her. I stood up and slowly walked to my closet picking out a black dress that was covered with lace. My father had bought it for me for the homecoming dance last year, before he was deployed. I sighed as I felt the tears brimming my eyes.

I decided against wearing make-up today, it would be pointless with all the crying I knew I was going to be doing. I grabbed my brush and untied my ribbon. I slowly started to brush my hair, getting all the knots out. Leaving my hair down, I got undressed and put on my black dress. I frowned at my reflection, but then walked into the bathroom. 

I found Neosporin in one of the drawers as I was searching for my toothpaste. After I was done brushing my teeth, I lifted my dress and took off my pink band aid. The cut didn’t look too bad. It still stung. Opening the Neosporin tube, I squeezed gently until some of it oozed onto my pointer finger. I gently dabbed my cut with my finger and then placed a new pink band aid on top of the cut.

Walking back into my room, I went through my drawers searching for black stockings. Once I found them, I started putting them on. I jumped at the sound of my phone vibrating softly. Thinking it was Sandor calling, I just answered it.

“Hello!” I smiled softly into the phone.

“Do you think I’m fucking stupid bitch?” Joffrey’s voice pierced through my ear.

I was confused, very confused, but hurt all the same.

“Excuse me?” I had asked softly, cradling the phone in-between my head and shoulder as I continued pulling up the black stockings up to my waist.

“You fucking heard me. Don’t play stupid. Even though you don’t have to play that part really, you’re just a fucking idiot.” I grabbed the phone and held it to my ear, I was shocked at first, but the tears burned my eyes once more.

“Just what exactly are you going on about? Do you even know what the hell is going on today?” I asked with the anger rising in my voice.

“Don’t you fucking use that tone of voice with me you whore. Don’t think I don’t know what the fuck is going on behind my back. You fucking that ugly dog behind my back, are you really that dumb to think I wouldn’t find out?” Joffrey was now screaming into the phone.

I pulled the phone away from my ear, this whole conversation was lost on me, I just have no clue what the hell he was going on about with Sandor and I having sex.

Hell, I still never had sex with Joffrey. I bit my lip as I felt my anger rising. I don’t think I’ve ever been this angry in my life.

I heard a knock at my door but I ignored it, I pulled my Iphone to my face once more, Joffery was still screaming nonsense into the phone.

“Look Joffery-“ I started to say but he cut me off.

“Don’t you fucking ‘look Joffrey’ me you cunt! I just saw him fucking drive past me and towards the direction of your fucking house.” I could imagine how red Joffrey’s face must be from all the screaming he was doing.

Another knock was at my door and I once again ignored it, I felt like I was slowly losing control over myself, I took a deep breath to try and calm myself down. From tears and snapping at my boyfriend.

“Sandor is coming with my family to my father’s wake, something I tried to fucking contact you about.” I whispered into the phone. I must have angered him or surprised him, because I normally never curse.

I heard Joffrey laugh, “Why the fuck would he do that? Your father was a worthless piece of shit, just like you, just like the rest of your family. I would never fucking waste my time with your bullshit. You’re a worthless piece of shit Sansa, you always were, so fucking stupid, just trash that needs to be dragged off to the dumps. I hope you fucking have fun today while your daddy lays in his coffin.” Joffrey laughed so more.

The tears flowed down my cheeks, I was taking deep breaths trying to calm myself down.

“Sansa?” I heard Arya ask through the door, “Sandor’s here.”

I didn’t care at the moment, I didn’t care about anything. My chest ached with pain, I felt like my body was going to explode, I was shaking so hard. I was so hurt and enraged.

“Look here, you sadistic fuck. You can fucking insult me all the fuck you want, but you will not sit here and fucking insult my father. You will not fucking laugh in my ear and mock my family and fucking talk shit about Sandor. Like are you fucking kidding me right now? How fucking immature are you? Great idea! Let’s just fucking call and insult my girlfriend the day she has to go to her father’s wake.”

I was screaming into the phone over Joffrey’s laughter.

Arya must have opened up my door to see what the yelling was all about, Sandor was right behind her watching me with his grey eyes. I turned to look at my sister and ignored the look she gave me. I felt like I was going to pass out, just why did he have to do this to me now?

I took deep breaths to calm myself down, I never got this angry, I never cursed as much as I just did right now, and I shouldn’t have let Joffery push me this far. I was done, I was done with him, my emotions, I was done with life. Something snapped and I just stopped caring.

“You know what Joffrey? I’m done, I’m so fucking done with you and your shit. Don’t try to contact me, don’t contact my family. I hope one day you wake the fuck up, or you rot in hell. I can’t do this anymore, I deserve better than just the little boy you truly are.” I said slowly and calmly. By the time I was done his laughter had stopped and he started to yell again but I ended the call.

He quickly called back, but I turned off my phone. I sighed and sat down on my bed. Arya walked closer to me as Sandor kept his distance. By now my mom and Jon had gathered by my door way with worried looks on their faces.

My breath started to quicken, and I felt like I couldn’t breathe. Tears flowed down my face as I wiped them away. The house phone ring and I started to cry harder, I leaned over and placed my head into my lap.

“Don’t answer it Jon.” I heard Arya say as the phone kept ringing. 

My body shook as I gasped to catch my breath. I felt a large hand rub my back in a circular motion. Arya leaned down in front of me and slowly pushed my shoulders so I sat up.

“Hey, hey it’s going to be okay Sansa.” Arya whispered. I looked up at my sister and saw the hate in her eyes through my tears. I shook my head and cried harder.

I felt someone sit next to me on my bed, the large hand that was rubbing my back now grabbed at my side. The large arm picked me up and placed me on a lap.

“You need to calm down Little Bird.” Sandor whispered into my ear as he ran his fingers through my hair. I couldn’t respond to him, I was so lost in my own world, I was extremely hurt by the things Joffrey had said about my father and about me. Everything was spinning, I suddenly felt sick. My whole body had pins and needles running through it.

The phone had stopped ringing for a moment before it started ringing again.

“Are you fucking serious right now?” I heard Jon yell and his angry footsteps, storming away into the living room. I heard my mother protest, but Jon ignored her.

“STOP FUCKING CALLING YOU PRICK.” Jon yelled into the phone. I jumped in Sandor’s arms at the sound of Jon’s voice. Jon was normally calm like I was, he was never one to really curse or raise his voice. He always kept his temper in check and was very respectful to everyone.

My breathing had calmed and I had stopped crying as hard. Arya giggled at the sound of a crash, “I guess Jon ripped the phone out of the wall.” I smiled at the thought. Sandor rubbed my back once more as Arya grabbed ahold of my hands. She pulled me up from Sandor’s lap and onto my feet. I stumbled a bit, but caught my balance.

Arya slowly wrapped her arms around my waist. “Don’t scare me like that again.” Arya whispered into my dress.

I looked down at her, I felt like I was dreaming. This was just all too much for me to handle. I nodded my head at her words, like a robot. I felt so emotionally drained, I felt like I was going to throw up. Arya let go of me and made her way out of my room to check on Jon and our mother.

Sandor had stood up from my bed and rubbed his large hands up and down my pale arms. “He won’t hurt you anymore Little Bird.” He whispered down to me. I turned to face him, I opened my mouth to speak, but I couldn’t find my voice.

“I won’t let him hurt you ever again, I promise.” I walked slowly closer to Sandor, wrapping my arms around his large waist. I nodded into his chest and started to softly cry into his black shirt.

I felt him sigh, he rubbed my back until I stopped crying. I stepped back and smiled up at him.

“Thank you.” I whispered.

He smirked and nodded towards the bathroom. “Go wash your face and get your shoes, we’ll be leaving soon. I’ll be in the living room with the rest of your family.” I nodded and smiled at him. He watched me as I walked into the bathroom. Once I turned on the sink and started to splash cold water on my face as he walked out of the room.

I couldn’t even feel the cold water on my face. Everything was still numb, I could still hear Joffrey’s laughter in my ears, mocking my sorrow. I looked at my reflection, my eyes slowly tracing my body from head to my waist. My eyes stopped at the spot where I had accidently cut myself during the shower.

I bit my lip, remembering how good it felt to feel alive. I looked back to the shower, to where my razor was. I slowly walked towards my shower, almost like a zombie, I felt like I couldn’t control my movements.

My hand reached out to the razor, if only I could feel alive again, I thought to myself. As soon as my hand touched the razor I thought of my father and what he would think of my actions, I thought of Arya and how angry she would be with me, how my mother would cry over the thoughts I was having, and how Jon would glare at me from across the room from what I would do to myself. I even thought of Sandor and what he would think of me after my actions, or if he would even care.

He would care, I let go of the razor, and he would be extremely disappointed with me and furious at my decision to harm myself. I shook my head, calling myself stupid I made my way out of the bathroom. I slowly put on my black pumps and walked out of my room, making my way down the hall and into the living room. My mother held Rickon in her arms swaying back and forth. Brann was in his wheel chair next to the couch, looking up at me with his watchful eyes.

Jon sat on the couch next to Sandor, both of them glared at their feet, their anger was emanating from their bodies. Arya looked at me and then everyone else. She cleared her throat grasping everyone’s attention. “Ready?” She asked everyone. Jon had glanced up at me and I nodded to him, smiling softly.

He walked over to Brann’s chair as my mom placed Rickon on the ground. Rickon immediately started crying to be held once more. I watched as my mom struggled to keep her composure, I put on a large smile and walked over to Rickon, picking him up. I swayed him back and forth giving him kisses on his soft cheeks.

“Robb and Jeyne are meeting us there.” My mom had spoken softly while glancing back and forth between Jon, Arya and I. We all nodded at one another. Sandor stood up from the couch and held his arm out towards me. I saw out of the corner of my eye how my mom watched Sandor carefully. I knew she still didn’t have the best feelings towards the large man, but she was getting better with trusting him.

I knew at least she likes him a lot better than Joffrey.

I smiled as I slowly gave Rickon to Sandor, and Rickon adored Sandor. Especially his beard, Rickon also had loved our father’s beard. He used to run his little fingers through it when dad would grow it long in the winter. Arya opened the front door for Brann, as Jon pushed him through the doorway. Arya followed them outside, Sandor, Rickon, and I were right behind her. My mom took a deep breath and closed the door behind her, locking it.

“Jon, Little Bird, and I can ride in my truck, while the Arya and the boys go with you?” Sandor turned towards my mother while Rickon let out a small giggle. My mom had a surprise look on her face, but she smiled softly, “We’ll meet you there then.” Jon had lifted Brann into the SUV, and then folded up the wheelchair and placed it in the trunk. Sandor walked over to the car and I took Rickon out of his arms and placed him in his car seat. Making sure the boys had their seatbelts on, I followed Sandor to his truck.

Arya and my mom had gotten inside the SUV, as Sandor got in the driver seat of his truck, I sat in the middle, and Jon sat in the passenger seat of the car.

“Is Ygritte going to be there?” I asked softly as Sandor started the engine and backed out of our driveway.

Jon nodded and didn’t say a word.

After a few minutes of silence, I looked over at Jon as he looked out the window.

“Are you mad at me?” I whispered. I saw Sandor shake his head and grab the steering wheel with frustration.

Jon’s head snapped towards me, “What? No. No Sansa, I’m not mad at you at all. I’m relieved you ended it with that asshole. I’m angry at him and I’m upset with what happened with father, we all are.” Jon turned back to watch out the window. I looked at my lap, I felt stupid for even dating Joffrey in the first place, I felt stupid for asking such dumb questions. I bit my lip, maybe I was just an idiot like Joffrey had said. 

The ride to the funeral home was silent, I looked up at Sandor once we parked. He must have felt me looking at him and he turned to me. His eyes were full of frustration and anger, maybe even hatred. I frowned slightly and his eyes softened. “It’ll be okay Little Bird, you have your family by your side.”

I smiled again, “I also have you here too.” Sandor smirked and nodded, “Aye, even me.” I let out a small giggle. Jon smirked and opened up his door, he looked up at me to see if I wanted to get out on his side. I looked over to Sandor and he opened his door and held his arm out for me.

Jon nodded his head and closed the door behind him, I reached out my arm towards Sandor’s and he softly grabbed ahold of my hand. I blushed at how warm his hands were and how nice they felt in my hands. He helped me out of the truck, and closed the door once I walked towards the front of his truck. He then locked the doors to his truck, and walked over to my side.

“Be strong Little Bird.” Sandor grabbed ahold of my hand once more. I nodded up at him, smiling. We made our way out of the parking lot and into the funeral home. Mom, Arya, Brann, Rickon and Jon were already inside. Ygritte was at Jon’s side, holding his hand. Arya turned to look at me, and glanced down at my hand that was inside Sandor’s. She raised an eyebrow but didn’t say anything. Her own boyfriend Gendry was next to her.

I walked into the main room with Sandor by my side, Robb and Jeyne were standing beside Dad’s casket. I froze at the sight of the black coffin that was covered with an American flag. It was going to be a closed casket ceremony because his body and face were badly damaged by the bomb.

I must have started crying again because I felt Sandor’s hand on my back, rubbing it slowly. Robb turned towards us, his eyes were bloodshot, with black rings around them. He looked like he hadn’t slept in days. Sandor let go of my hand as I made my way over to my older brother. I started crying harder as I wrapped my arms around his strong neck. He wrapped his arms around my waist and lifted me off the ground, kissing my face and the side of my head. I started to cry harder, his hugs felt like my dad’s. He even looked so much like our dad, He put me back on the ground and swayed back and forth, kissing the top of my head over and over again.

He rested his chin on the top of my head as my sobs quieted down, he slowly let go of me. Sandor came up behind me and grabbed my hand again. He ran his large thumb over my small hand. Robb glanced down at Sandor’s action and looked back up at me.

“No Joffrey?” Robb asked with a hint of sarcasm.

I opened my mouth to say something, but nothing came out. Sandor looked at me and then back at my older brother, “He burned his bridges with your sister and your family. It’s not the time nor the place to talk about it any further.” Sandor growled out.

The grip on my hand tightened, I looked up at Sandor and he avoided my eyes. He just starred right at Robb with a clenched jaw. I’ve seen Sandor angry before, but the look deep within his eyes almost scared me. He was livid. Robb nodded his head, Jeyne walked over and gave me a small hug kissing the side of my face. She had a small bump of where the baby was starting to form.

I smiled at her welcoming gesture and gave her a small hug back. Soon mom and everyone else made their way into the room. Mom had hugged Robb and broke down in his arms, just like I did. Arya and Gendry walked over to my father’s coffin. Arya went up to it and ran her hand over the flag. She closed her eyes and bit her lip. I watched as Rickon walked over to Sandor and I and grabbed ahold of my dress, lightly pulling on it. I giggled and ran my fingers through his curly hair.

Jon had wheeled Brann towards the coffin, Arya had walked away to stand by Ygritte, letting Brann near it so he could touch it as well. He quietly closed his eyes said a prayer. Jon also had walked up to the casket and touched it. He shook his head lightly, Robb had let go of mom and made his way over to Jon and Brann. He gave Jon a large hug, both men broke down and cried in each other’s arms. Mom had then hugged Jeyne, with tears streaming down her face. 

Sandor coughed lightly and started to look around the room. “I’ll be back soon Little Bird, I’ll give your family some privacy.” I nodded and leaned in to hug his waist. He froze at the contact, but he gently ran his fingers through my hair. He pulled away and made his way out of the funeral home.

Robb had went over to Brann and gave him a hug as well, giving him a kiss on the head. Arya had jumped into Robb’s arms letting out a soft sob. Robb rocked her back and forth in his arms kissing her head. He gently placed her down on the ground, and nodded at Gendry. He looked back towards me and raised his eyebrows.

He made his way over as everyone else became distracted with trying to calm themselves down before everyone else arrived. “Where’d Sandor go?” he asked softly. I turned and looked down the hall, “I think he went outside, I think he felt uncomfortable with everyone being upset.” I said while licking my lips and looking at my feet.

Robb shrugged but started to walk down the hall, I suddenly felt cold. I looked at everyone else, Rickon had walked over to Brann and started playing a game of I Spy with him. Arya, Gendry, and Jon were all looking at the coffin, silently talking to one another. Mom and Jeyne were talking about the baby and the upcoming baby shower.

I felt my start to ache again, everyone seemed to be in their own worlds right now. Once again I felt like pins and needles struck each part of my body. I felt like I couldn’t breathe, I quickly made my way out of the room and into the girl’s restroom. I walked in, taking deep breaths, and making my way over to the large mirror. I stared at my reflection; my face was pale, my eyes had lost their shine. The blue seemed dull and almost lifeless. My lips were swollen from me biting them so much. My own reflection scared me, I didn’t recognize myself. I thought of the others, they didn’t look that bad to me, they looked almost normal considering the circumstances.

I looked at my hands that were shaking, I quickly turned on the faucet and ran my hands under the cold water. Panicking, I felt like I couldn’t feel the cold water at all. I turned the nozzle all the way to the left, making the water hot to touch. I slowly ran my hands under the hot water. Steam started to rise and I felt my hands slightly sting at the touch. I smiled, it felt wonderful.

I heard the door open and I turned the water off the smile vanishing from my face. Arya came walking in, her face stained with tears. “People are going to start arriving any moment.” She whispered. I nodded at her words I didn’t really care at the moment. I glanced down at my hands, which were turning a slight shade of pink from where the water had hit them.

Arya looked down at my hands and she shook her head, walking closer to me. “What happened?” I looked at her, “Oh I was just washing my hands under the hot water. I guess I set it the faucet to too hot of water.” I giggled. Arya looked at my face and then back at my hands. “You’re really weird sometimes.” She shook her head and sighed, she then nodded towards the door, “Come on, and let’s get ready to greet the others.” 

I let out a soft sigh, she probably thinks I’m an idiot. I licked my lips and grabbed a few paper towels to dry my hands. She probably thinks I’m just her stupid older sister who can’t do anything right. I glanced back at the mirror at my own reflection.

You’re worthless.

Joffrey’s words echoed in my mind I turned away from the mirror with the numbness spreading throughout my whole body. I followed Arya back into the main room, preparing myself for people’s tears, words, and even lies. I looked out the windows and saw Sandor and Robb deep in discussion, both men looked like they were ready to kill someone.

I shook my head, and turned my attention to the flowers that were gathered alongside the walls and were on top of every table in the halls. Walking over to a set of roses, I took a deep breath. I couldn’t smell them. I frowned, I walking over to the pair of white lilies in a different vase and I took a breath again. I couldn’t smell them either, I felt scared. A deep ache settled in my stomach, as I looked at my pink colored hands. What was wrong with me?

././././././.

(This takes place right after Robb left the main room before Sansa walked into the bathroom. Written in third pov)

Sandor took a drag from his cigarette. Smoking always calmed his nerves, he didn’t do it often, he was actually trying to quit. Robb had walked out of funeral home and nodded towards him. Sandor nodded back, both men had a mutual respect for one another, they always had ever since high school.

“Can you please tell me what happened?” Robb asked in a hoarse voice. “Sansa,” he paused taking a deep breath, “she doesn’t look good.” 

Sandor shook his head, “That’s mostly why I’m here. I knew she would be a wreck but I didn’t think she was going to be like she is now. I’m a hundred percent positive that bastard Joffrey had a huge part in her darkened mood. She tries to cover it, but I have a bad feeling about something. I can’t shake it off.”

Sandor took another drag from his cigarette, he felt like punching something. More like breaking a young blonde haired boy’s teeth. Robb shook his head, “What happened? What did he do to her?”

Sandor shrugged, “Everyone knew how much of a prick he was and still is. When he was around you guys, her family, he hid most of it. But whenever we all hung out in school or after school he always insulted her, treated her like such shit. I don’t even know why she had stayed with him for all these years. I don’t even know how she managed when I wasn’t in school to protect her.”

Sandor shook his head at such thoughts, “At least she didn’t have him in her school this year. That fucker graduated last year, she seems happier without him around her constantly.” Robb nodded he had a feeling the bastard treated her badly, he was always wrapped up in his own work to really pay attention. Everyone was wrapped up too much in their own shit to notice what was going on with Sansa, Robb thought to himself suddenly disgusted at the thought of his sister being alone and dealing with the abuse she was put through.

Robb looked up at Sandor, Sandor raised an eyebrow and took another long drag of his cigarette. At least she wasn’t completely alone, Robb thought to himself.  
“The fucker refused to answer her phone calls all week, and then laughed about your father’s death. His little friends all made their jokes about him and how pathetic Sansa is. You know of my job, I only was around because I got paid for it. I can’t stand the bastard, I should have let my brother smash his head in.” Sandor sighed.

“I quit yesterday, got drunk, sobered up a bit. I couldn’t stop thinking about Sansa, so I texted her saying I would be at their house before they left. I knew Joffrey wasn’t going to come here with her, and that she was going to be alone. Joffrey saw me this morning as I passed his car at an intersection. That fucker knew the direction I was heading in, and it probably pissed him the fuck off, just like it pissed him off when I finally told him how I really felt about him when I quit.” Sandor grinned and clenched his fists. Imagining breaking Joffrey’s bones with just a flick of his wrist.

“I don’t know what he said to her, no one does. No one really asked her, I had come over to the house and Arya led me up to Sansa’s bedroom. I knocked on the door and I heard yelling. I knocked harder the second time, and there was still no answer. Arya had opened the door and made her way in as Sansa was screaming and yelling over the phone. She even cursed at the fucker, saying how he can say all the shit he wants about her but she won’t stand for him mocking her father or her family.”

Robb was silent as Sandor continued, Sandor let the cigarette fall from his grip and fall to the ground. He stepped on it, crushing it instantly. He smirked, imagining it was Joffrey’s head.

“She broke up with him, told him not to call her back. He called back anyways and then started ringing the house phone. Jon lost it and screamed into the phone, calling Joffery a prick. He then ripped the phone out of the wall and threw across the living room.”

Sandor looked at Robb, “If I see that fucker anywhere near her, he’ll be lucky to survive my fucking wrath.” 

Robb was shocked at Jon’s action but nodded at Sandor’s words, “I’ll have to agree with you there, he’s a dead man walking.” Robb growled out as he clenched his fists.

“Sansa looks so empty, almost shell shocked. She was alright when we picked out the tombstone, but now, I’m afraid for her.” Robb whispered, he was on the verge of tears. Tears of frustration and anger, tears of sorrow, and tears he had been holding back for days.

Sandor nodded, “Something isn’t right with the Little Bird, usually when I have this feeling something bad happens every time. I’ll keep a close eye on her from now on.” Both men looked at one another and nodded in an understanding.

They were both very afraid for a woman they both loved.

/./././././././././././.  
(Back in Sansa’s pov)

There was so many people who showed up, most of the women were crying. Some men wore their uniforms from the military, most of the people I didn’t even know. But all of them ended up shaking my hand, giving me a kiss on the cheek, hugging me, and telling me how sorry they were.

I had distractions from the emotional rollercoaster I was riding.

Wearing a fake smile, wearing a mask, I had greeted anyone I could, listened to their stories of my father. I noticed Robb and Sandor had come back inside, I had excused myself from an elderly couple and made my way over to Sandor. He reached his arm out as I walked into his gentle embrace.

The pain started to fade away as soon as I was in his arms, it was like the world vanished around us, and it was just literally us. I frowned into his chest, was there even an us? It was too soon to be in another relationship, plus with my emotions all over the place I didn’t want to make a wrong decision and hurt Sandor in the long run.

I had to admit though, I had always cared about him. I looked up at him as he looked down at me. I smiled softly at him, “Thank you for being here with me.” I whispered.

He smiled softly in return, “Anything for the Little Bird.”

I giggled and started to pull away from his hug, but he had grabbed my wrists. He looked down at the pink splotches on my hands, he frowned and looked at me. “What happened?” he growled out.

“Oh, I was uh-“ I started to say but he had cut me off, “I can smell a lie you know, you’re a terrible liar. Tell me the truth.” He growled out.

I let out a soft sigh, “I like the feeling of hot water touching my skin, I feel numb and it seems that’s the only way to feel or wake me up really.” I whispered softly.

Sandor’s grip tightened, he glared at me, and his eyes were full of hurt and anger.

“You like being burned?” he snapped quietly.

“It’s not really being burned, the water isn’t hot enough to do enough damage.” I explained and started to bite my lip.

“Not enough damage? Is this the start of something? Do you want something to do enough damage Sansa?” His grip tightened even more, “Stop biting your lip, stop trying to hurt yourself or wake up from whatever you’re going through. Don’t do anything stupid girl.” Sandor growled out once more, but pulled me forward, I stumbled into his chest. His chest was shaking, from anger or fear I couldn’t tell. I slowly wrapped one arm around his waist, he let go of my wrist and wrapped both arms around my frame.

I ran my hand he was holding so tightly before, in-between us and rubbed it back and forth against his chest. He took a deep breath to calm himself down. He started to rub my sides, I felt him kiss my forehead and he then grabbed ahold of my chin gently. He pulled my head up and lightly kissed my right cheek.

“Gross.” Arya snapped as she walked over to us. “Get a room, ugh.” She let out a chuckle.

Sandor released me from his hug, he smirked when he saw that I was blushing. 

I looked around the room, everyone seemed to have settled in the chairs. I grabbed ahold of Sandor’s large hand, it must have surprised him because he looked at me with shock. I lead him to a pair of empty chairs that was near my mother and Robb. We all sat in the front and one by one people started walking up to the front of the room to speak about my father.

Robb and Jon had gone up, even Arya. I didn’t want to, I had told everyone I wouldn’t stand up in front of everyone and talk about my dad. Mom understood and didn’t pressure me into anything. 

I took a deep breath, Sandor gently ran his hand up and down my arm trying to calm me down. We all cried, but not as hard as we did when we heard about his death. It was more laughing at stories, and tears of fondness and there were more smiles on my family’s faces. Sandor even chuckled a few times at Arya’s story of all of going camping and then how I thought I saw a porcupine in the bushes, so I tried to get a closer look at it with Arya, and we both saw a large white and black tail slowly start to rise out of the bushes. We screamed and ran to our father telling him what happened, but we never got sprayed by the skunk. 

I laughed as I recalled the memory, but then I started to think about how dumb it was to try to look at a porcupine close up. It was a really stupid idea I thought to myself as I frowned.

After the wake was over, everyone gave out more hugs, and said their goodbyes to us. Sandor had wrapped an arm around my waist as his other hand held out a cup of water for me. I took the cup and started to drink it. I heard him chuckle, “So the silly Little Bird likes to chase skunks?” I turned to look at him and grinned.

“You must think I’m a complete idiot for doing so.” I said while looking at the ground.

Sandor let out a loud laugh, “No Little Bird, can’t help curiosity, besides those moments are the moments in life that you look back on, the ones you laugh at because it was a funny experience.” I nodded at his words and thanked him for the water.

He nodded, Robb walked over to where we stood. “Why don’t you guys head home? Jeyne can take the kids and my mother and I can finish up here.”

Sandor looked over to Jon and Arya, they both nodded and smiled slightly at the idea. Mom gave Jeyne the keys to her car, as Robb promised to take her home. Jon helped Brann into the car as Jeyne carried Rickon and placed him in his car seat. Arya had announced she would drive to the house with Gendry, and Jon said he would ride with Ygritte.

Sandor helped me get into his truck, he started up his engine and followed Jeyne back to the house, and the ride was quiet as I thought about the man who sat next to me. “Are you still coming to my graduation?” I asked quietly as we made a turn onto the street I lived on.

Sandor glanced at me with a smirk, “Only if you still want me to go.” I smiled at his teasing, “Why of course I want you to come.” I said while playing with my hair. I smiled as I watched Jeyne pull into our driveway. My smile quickly faded as I saw another car in our driveway, Joffrey’s car.

 

I heard Sandor curse under his breath as he pulled in behind Jeyne. I unbuckled my seatbelt spotting a form sitting on our front steps. “Sandor.” I whispered as I felt a pain in my chest, he glanced in the direction I was looking at and cursed louder. He quickly took off his seatbelt and opened his truck’s door so violently and slammed it shut with a loud bang. He made his way in-between his truck and my mom’s SUV. 

His fists were clenched, his grey eyes turned into a darker shade. He clenched his jaw as he stormed over to the steps. I quickly got out of the truck, Jeyne was getting out of the SUV as I ran over to her, “I don’t have my cell phone call the cops now!” I all but yelled at her with tears falling down my cheeks.

Arya and Gendry pulled up next to Sandor’s truck, along with Ygritte and Jon right behind them. Arya and Jon both flew out of the cars and made their way over to where Sandor and Joffrey were.

The two were screaming threats and yelling at one another Joffrey’s face was a deep dark shade of red, almost purple. Sandor’s face was flushed and his voice was hoarse from yelling so loud over Joffrey’s screeching screams. Arya had run up behind Joffrey and kicked him in-between his legs. Joffrey immediately fell to the damp grass. He turned to look Arya, “You fucking twat, you will pay dearly for what you just did.”

“Is that a threat to my sister?” Jon said with such a calm sense of rage in his voice. It almost scared me at his tone of voice. Joffrey looked up and glared at Jon, he glared at Sandor he then looked towards where Jeyne and I stood. Jeyne was on the phone with the police and I had opened the SUV’s side door to calm down Rickon’s screaming and crying.

“Too much of a fucking coward to face me Sansa?” Joffrey called out laughing, I turned to look at him glaring, and he slowly stood on his feet once more. Jon held Arya back from kicking him again. Sandor shook with rage. His eyes were almost black, Joffrey tried walking closer to me and Sandor walked in front of him.

“You will not go near her,” he growled out spitting on Joffrey’s face, “Go home you fucking prick, you don’t belong here. You have no right to be here.”

Joffrey wiped off Sandor’s spit from his cheek, he clenched his fist and quickly punched Sandor in his jaw. Sandor took one step back with his head tilted back from Joffrey’s fist. Sandor let out a deep laugh, a laugh that went right through me. It was a terrifying laugh, Joffrey’s arrogant face frowned as he realized who he just hit.

Sandor turned his head towards Joffrey, still laughing like a maniac, he took a step forward and Joffrey would take a step back. “You messed with the wrong fucking person, you shouldn’t have come here, and you most certainly shouldn’t have hit me.” Sandor growled out in the mix of his laughter. Joffrey tripped over his own feet and landed on his ass in front of Jon and Arya.

“Kick his ass Sandor! Do it, fucking kill him!” Arya yelled out as her body shook with anger.

Jon held Arya back, and pulled her farther away from where Joffery laid on the grass. I shook my head as I saw Sandor raise his fist. I heard the sickening crack as his fist collided with Joffrey’s face. I heard Joffrey scream out in pain and agony. Rickon screamed at the sound of the fighting. He was sobbing and franticly attempting to get out of his car seat. I looked over at Brann, he closed his eyes at the sound of another crack of one of Sandor’s punches landing on Joffrey.

“You have to stop him.” Brann said softly as Rickon screamed louder.

I looked over to Jeyne who had hung up her phone. “Jeyne we need to get the kids inside, now.” I said in a shaky voice.

Jeyne looked up at me and nodded. I unbuckled Rickon’s seatbelt as he kicked and screamed. I picked him up and carried him towards the house, but one of his kicks ended up in my rib cage, I dropped him from the shock of him actually hurting me. He then ran towards Sandor, who was still hitting Joffrey.

“No.” I whispered as I saw Rickon running closer to where Sandor stood, Sandor didn’t notice what was going on, he was too involved in beating up Joffrey.

“Stop! Fucking stop!” I yelled as I ran out to stop Rickon from moving any further. Jon saw what was going on and he moved quick enough to run around Sandor who stopped his punches, and grabbed Rickon. I ran up to Jon, slightly shaking. “For a three year old he sure kicks hard and runs pretty fast.” I said softly as I tried to catch my breath. Jon nodded, his body was shaking as well. Rickon was starting to kick at Jon and started to scream louder.

“You see dog? She fucking cares more about me then you. She told you to stop.” Joffrey laughed as he looked towards me. Sandor turned towards me his body shaking with rage.

I walked away from Jon and stepped towards Sandor and Joffery, “I didn’t tell or ask Sandor to stop I was screaming for my brother to stop running away from me. I wasn’t worried about you, I was more concerned about my little brother getting too close.” I whispered as I glared at my ex. His nose was bloodied, probably broken. One of his eyes were swollen and was already turning black and blue, and he had blood pouring out of his mouth.

I looked up at Sandor who was still shaking, his eyes were full of anger and hate. I smiled softly at him. “You fucking bitch, you might have your dog beat the shit out of me, but you’ll always be worthless. You will always be trash!” Joffery screamed at me. I felt the pain in my chest once more as I heard his words. I heard another car pull up and a car door opening and closing.

“You will always be a stupid bitch, just like your fucking father, a stupid piece of fucking shit!” Joffrey screamed. “I’m glad your fucking father died, I can’t wait for the rest of you to fucking die. I’ll be sure to piss on your father’s grave as I’ll piss on yours Sansa!” Joffrey started laughing again like he was earlier this morning.

I felt the tears fall down my cheeks again, I felt like I was suffocating. I wanted to scream at him, yell, but I couldn’t find my voice. Anytime I would yell back at him, I would end up usually with a smack across my face. After years of abuse I lost my voice to fight against him.

I heard Sandor let out a roar of rage as I felt him move towards Joffrey, I felt someone else walking up beside me.

“What the fuck did you just say about my father?” Robb asked with his voice full of hate.

Joffrey’s laughter died down as he glared at all of us. “You fucking heard me, or are you just as stupid as your twat of a sister here?” Sandor went to punch him again, but Robb stepped in-between the two.

Just like Jon, I’ve never seen Robb get so angry before, but Robb lost it.

“You know what you fucking prick, I should have put you in your place a long fucking time ago. I blame myself for not stepping in sooner for my sister’s sake. But let me teach you something about Starks. Don’t fucking fuck with us or our family.” Robb kicked Joffrey in his ribs and then punched him in the face. “That’s for Sansa and all the shit you did to her.” 

Robb kicked Joffrey in-between his legs, hard, “That’s for the shit you just said about my father.” Robb bent down and grabbed a handful of Joffrey’s hair and pulled him to his feet. Robb reared back and punched Joffrey in the stomache, Joffrey let out a gasp of pain as tears fell down his face. “Oh? Does it feel good to cry? No? I didn’t think so.” Robb laughed as he punched Joffrey again in the stomach. 

“That was for insulting my family, and for fucking showing up on our property.” Robb pushed Joffrey, Joffrey let out a yelp of pain as he landed on his ass. “If you get up, I won’t stop Sandor for having his fun with you again.”

Robb growled as he walked away from Joffrey and over to me. I was shocked and surprised at his actions. He surprised me with what he had said, that he blames himself for what had happened between Joffrey and I. Robb put his arms around me gently, and kissed my forehead. “I’m sorry.” He whispered as he let go of me. I turned to face my family with tears flowing down my face, mom was holding Rickon as Jon had gotten Brann out of the SUV and into his wheel chair. Jeyne and Ygritte were holding hands watching the scene with shock on their faces.

Gendry had walked up to Arya and held her against him, trying to calm her down. I looked over to Sandor, he looked up at me, still with anger in his eyes, but his eyes started to turn back to their normal color grey. I saw the red mark on the side of his face and instantly felt guilty.

If it wasn’t for me none of this would have happened. Sandor wouldn’t have been hit, Robb wouldn’t have gotten involved, Rickon wouldn’t have almost gotten involved, and no one would have seen or heard what Joffrey had said about me and my family.

If it wasn’t for me, Joffrey would have never done this. I bit my lip and turned towards the house. I heard sirens and saw the flashing of red and blue. An officer had pulled up and started questioning everyone, first Jeyne, the one who called, Robb and my mother, Arya, Jon and Brann, then made his way towards me. 

I told him everything, from start to finish, from the calls from this morning, and how we ended up at the house and finding him here, after I told him to stay away from me. I asked the officer if I could go inside my house real quick to get my cell phone to check if Joffery had left any voicemails. The officer let me do so, moving onto Sandor and started to question him.

I ran to my room and quickly turned on my phone, I had twelve missed calls all from Joffery, multiple texts from him insulting me and my family, and four voicemails. I walked about outside towards the officer. I showed him the missed call list, the insulting text messages, and even a few text messages had threats towards me or my family. I then started to play the voicemails on speaker phone.

“You fucking bitch, you think you can just break up with me and turn off your phone? Well fuck you then, I’ll be sure to tell everyone how much of a whore you really are. Have fun at your daddy’s funeral shit.”

“You really going to ignore me all day? Look I swear I’m sorry I won’t do those things ever again.”

“Fucking answer your phone, holy shit. No one cares that your dad died, look I can forgive you for fucking around with the dog behind my back. As long as you get the fuck on your knees you stupid cunt.”

“I’ll be there just so you know, I’ll be there when you fucking come home, and you will fucking pay. Do you hear me? I’ll teach you a lesson you’ll never forget you fucking slut.”

I had started crying again, and the officer shook his head at the voicemails. Sandor let out a deep growl, “And what were you planning on doing to her? You prick, If I wasn’t here or her brother, what the hell could have happened?!” Sandor cracked his neck, his body shaking with rage once more. The officer raised his hands towards Sandor, signaling him to calm himself down.

I walked over to Sandor and gently tugged him towards the house while the officer made his way towards Joffrey. He took his side of the story as Joffrey sobbed like a baby. The officer pulled Joffrey to his feet and walked him towards his car, “Place your hands behind your back sir.”

Joffrey cried out, trying to argue with the officer, as the officer placed handcuffs on his wrists and placed him in the backseat of the car. “I’ll take it from here folks, sorry about your afternoon. Have a good night.” The officer then finished filing his reports and Robb walked over and talked some things over with him.

I finally pulled Sandor inside the house and led him up into my room, I had to get away. I had to get away from everyone’s sad faces. What a horrible day, I thought to myself. “I ruined everything.” I whispered softly.

Sandor pulled himself away from my grip. “How is everything ruined because of you?” he growled out. I looked up at him surprised, I didn’t realize that I had said that statement out loud. I bit my lip and looked at the ground. I continued to make my way towards my room, leaving his question unanswered. He followed me into my room, “Are you just going to ignore me Little Bird?” he snapped.

I shook my head as I turned on the light to my room and then made my way into my bathroom. I turned on the light and searched for a clean rag. I turned on the faucet and turn the nozzle so the water would run warm. “I need to calm down first before I break down into tears again.” I whispered towards him. He nodded sharply as he stood in the middle of my room.

I squeezed the rag, until most of the water was out of it. Making my way back into my room I pointed towards my bed with a small smile. He shook his head and sighed. He slowly sat down on the edge of my bed. I pressed the warm rag against his face where Joffrey had punched him. “Does it hurt?” I asked softly staring into his grey eyes. He stared back, “I think that fucker hurt himself more with punching me. It doesn’t hurt, it felt like a child’s punch to be honest. I think Rickon could do more damage.”

I laughed, “Yeah tell me about it. He kicked me pretty hard in the ribs, I let go of him after the kick. I didn’t do it on purpose, I didn’t want him near the fight.” I whispered my bottom lip was starting to tremble as I fought back tears.

I took the warm rag away from his face, he smiled softly. “Let me see where he kicked you.” He said quietly. I nodded and walked over to my dresser and pulled out a tank top I sometimes slept in and pajama shorts. I walked into the bathroom and closed the door quietly.

I heard someone else come into the room, “Everything okay?” I heard Robb ask. “Rickon kicked her pretty hard in her ribs, she changing into something so I can see if there’s a bruise or not.” Sandor replied softly.

I quickly took off my shoes, and then my dress. I slowly took off my pantyhose. I glanced at the pink band aid and decided to change it again. Once I finished with placing more Neosporin on it, and placing a new band aid on the small cut, I put on my dark blue pajama shorts. I then pulled my tank top over my head and over my breasts. I sighed at my reflection, I looked so tired. 

I opened the door from my bathroom and saw that Robb stood in the corner of my room while Sandor looked like he was interested in my fuzzy carpet. Both of them looked up at me when I walked into the room. “Hey” I said softly to Robb, smiling towards him. “Hey, just wanted to make sure you were okay after you know, what had happened.”

Nodding I smiled, “Yes I’m okay as long as Sandor’s here with me. I’m glad you both are okay, I’m just surprised he actually showed up here.” Sandor let out a growl, “That boy is not stable, he could have hurt you or your sister if one of us wasn’t here to protect you girls or your younger brothers. He needs to be locked away.” 

“He won’t be, his mother is already trying to pay his way out.” Robb said while sighing. “Sansa he might come back for you, for revenge, who knows. He’s crazy and he likes to cause you pain. Maybe it would be better after you graduate,” Robb sighed again, “Maybe it would be better if you leave somewhere, go to an out of state university, something.”

Frowning I shook my head, “I wanted to go to the same school Sandor’s going to.” Sandor looked at me. “Little Bird this is my last semester, you know that, once I finish my degree I’m going to be looking for a new job. I might as well start looking now since I’m currently unemployed.”

Letting out a sigh, I shook my head, “I don’t want to leave, and you can’t make me.” Tears started to fall down my face. I was so tired of crying today, I was so tired of feeling the pain in my chest, I was just so tired.

Robb sighed, “It was just a suggestion Sansa, Mom thinks you should leave too.”

“I can’t just run from my problems!” I snapped as I cried harder, “I’m done, I’m so done. I can’t deal with this anymore. I know you care and I’m very grateful for that, thank you for standing up for me and dad to Joffrey, but I’m not leaving my home, the people I love and care about just to hide from Joffrey.” I wiped my tears away.

“Maybe he is right Sansa.” Sandor spoke up.

I turned towards him, shocked, “What?”

“Maybe you should calm down and think about what they are saying. Joffrey is crazy, and until he controls his temper, or hell even dies, it isn’t safe here for you. Robb, Jon, or I won’t always be around to protect you.”

“You’re joking. You have to be joking right now.” I started to cry harder as I fell on my knees. I wrapped my arms around myself and started to rock back and forth. “Please tell me that you’re joking.”

“It’s a suggestion, no one is forcing you to go anywhere Sansa.” Robb reached down to hug my shaking body.

I shook my head, I looked up at Sandor whose eyes were glazed over with worry. “I don’t want to leave, I want to be with you.” Sandor growled out, “You don’t mean that Little Bird.”

“Don’t tell me what I don’t mean! I do mean it! I only hung out with Joffrey on weekends just so I could see you!” I cried harder, gasping for my breath. Sandor stood up and walked over to where I was sitting. He slowly wrapped his arms around me and lifted me up. I started to cough from my gasping. “You’re alright Little Bird, you’re alright.” Sandor said softly as he carried me bridal style to my bed. Robb pulled the covers back as Sandor placed me down. Robb then covered me with the blanket and kissed my forehead.

“I didn’t mean to upset you so much, I only made the suggestion because I care and because I’m worried about you.” I nodded at his words, I was still crying, I couldn’t find my voice once more. Robb nodded at Sandor and walked out of my room, closing the door behind him. 

 

Sandor sat down next to me on the bed, I blushed when I realized what I just told him. “How long have you been dating Joffrey?” he asked softly. “Almost four years.” I answered him. “And how long have you felt feelings for me?” he asked while looking at me in the eyes. I blushed and moved my blankets to cover my face.

Sandor pulled the blankets back, “Answer the question Little Bird, then you’re going to tell me how you ruined everything.” Sandor growled out. I giggled at his actions and slowly sat up next to him.

“You know with both of us in my bed, it makes the bed seem more like a twin then a queen.” I said as there was barely any room for his large body.

He shook his head and lightly shoved my left shoulder. “Don’t try to change the subject you sneaky Little Bird.”

I laughed, and looked down at my hands that were in my lap. “I guess since the first time we met. I didn’t want to say anything because I thought you never liked me that way, I didn’t want to ruin our friendship. I was afraid to leave Joffrey after the first time he had hit me. I was afraid of what people would think of me, he always threatened he would tell everyone these lies and they would believe him over me. Once you graduated and the less I saw you, the more attached I became. I couldn’t get you out of my head, so I started actually looking forward to hanging out with Joffrey because I knew you would be there. That was before I got your cell phone number, and before we started hanging out without him.” I said slowly and softly. 

My cheeks burned, I knew I was blushing badly. My hands were slightly shaking, I was so nervous of what he thought of me. I felt him grab my chin softly, he pulled my head up so I was looking at him. He slowly leaned in and I closed my eyes, leaning towards him. Our lips brushed against one another, his lips were soft. He slowly pulled away and leaned in for another quick kiss.

I smiled against his soft lips. I felt him smile against my lips as well. When he pulled away he sighed softly, “You were the first girl to look at me, give me the time of the day, to look me in the eyes without fear and tell me the truth.” He growled as he leaned in to kiss me once more. I pulled the blanket completely off of me and moved to sit in front of him.

“I guess I should start explaining why I felt like I ruined everything,” I let out a groan, “I didn’t even mean to say that, it just must of have out when I was thinking about how all this stuff would have never happened if it wasn’t for me.”

Sandor just glared at me and raised his eyebrows, I let out a soft sigh.

“If I never dated Joffrey, I would never have been in this mess, if it wasn’t for me no one would have had to come home from my father’s wake and deal with him or the cops. I’m just a stupid fucking girl, just like he said I was.” My eyes burned with tears.

Sandor grabbed my shoulders and slightly shook them, “Now you listen to me Little Bird, and you listen to me good. People make mistakes, it wasn’t your fault that you ended up in an abusive relationship with him, it was not your fault for him pulling this shit with you and your family today.” Sandor lowered his voice and clenched his jaw, “And most of all, you are not stupid, you are not a slut, you are not a whore, a twat, and idiot, whatever he called you, it wasn’t true. You’re much better than that, you’re a gentle, smart and stunning Little Bird. I know for a fact you never slept with him because he always bitched about it, being a virgin as far as I know is far from being a whore.”  
I looked into Sandor’s eyes, I knew he would never lie to me, he had promised me that long ago when we were in school. I smiled and I felt so relieved, the pain in my chest vanished and I thought to myself, you know, he’s right.

“You should also have a higher self-esteem and better confidence about yourself Little Bird, you don’t need a man to tell you how pretty you truly are.” Sandor glared at me, I licked my lips and nodded, he was right. Since Joffrey isn’t here to constantly put me down anymore, I can finally see myself for who I truly am.

Sandor leaned back and looked down to where my hands laid on my lap.

“What happened there?” He nodded towards my pink band-aid.

“I cut myself.” I answered.

“You what?” He snarled. I blinked at his anger, “Yeah while I was shaving my legs I wasn’t paying attention, and I accidently nicked myself a little bit, it’s not too bad.”

“Let me see the cut Little Bird.” Sandor spoke softly.

I bit my lip and peeled away the pink band aid. The Neosporin was still coated on my skin, and the little cut wasn’t deep and it didn’t look like it was going to scar.

Sandor gently touched my thigh as he examined the little cut, he nodded at the Neosporin. “It should heal just fine.” He mumbled. I smiled and stood up and walked into the bathroom to get a new pink band aid.

I walked back to the bed and sat next to him, he let out a sigh. “You know I was worried that you were going to do something stupid to yourself Little Bird, you were acting to odd, but then again after everything that has happened how could you act normal?” Sandor grumbled while playing with a tag from my blanket.

“I’ve thought about it.” I muttered.

Sandor turned and looked at me in shock.

“I would look into my own reflection in the mirror and I would just hear everything Joffrey would say to me, how stupid I was, how worthless I am. My chest hurt so bad, I felt so numb. I would be in a daze walking towards my razor. But I’d somehow snap out of it. I even thought about stuff at the wake. I felt like pins and needles were all over my body, like my family didn’t need me or they thought I was just a stupid girl.

The very last time I thought about doing something, I thought about what you would think of me, what everyone would have thought at my actions. After you came back from talking to Robb, and you had told me not to do anything stupid to myself, I haven’t thought of doing anything since. I don’t really feel any pain when I’m with you, I feel a lot better now that I’ve talked things out really, and that Arya, you and Robb beat the shit out of Joffrey.”

Sandor watched me for a while after I was finished talking, his eyes would dart back and forth like he was trying to think of something to say. “Promise me, if something ever happens to me Little Bird, promise me you will never do anything stupid to yourself. That you won’t even think about it.”

“I can try.”

“No, you will promise me.”

I sighed, “I promise.” I said as I looked straight into his eyes.

“Swear on my life you won’t break that promise, ever.” He growled out.

I let out a soft gasp, I licked my lips. “I swear on your life Sandor, that I will never break the promise I made to you.” I said with a soft smile.

Sandor smirked and reached his arms out, lifting me once more onto his lap. “You know, I completely forgot about your sister kicking Joffrey in his nuts.” Sandor chuckled.

I let out a soft laugh, “Yeah that was pretty hilarious. I’ll have to thank her tomorrow.”

“Just another story to tell, just like the skunk one.” He said as he rubbed his hand up and down my back. I nuzzled into his chest and sighed. I started to relax while he held me and closed my eyes.

Sandor let out a soft chuckle and lifted me out of his lap, and placed me back on my bed. He pulled the blankets on top of me, I curled up into a ball snuggling into my pillow. He started to stand up but I quickly grabbed his wrist.

“Stay with me until I fall asleep?” I asked quietly.

Sandor looked at me and smiled softly, “Sure Little Bird.”

I sighed as he rolled my computer chair over to the bed, and sat down in it. He grunted in annoyance, the chair was way too small for him. I let out a small giggle as he gave up and just moved to sit on the edge of the bed.

I closed my eyes as I felt him starting to pet my hair, I heard him starting to hum a song, a very familiar song.

I tried to remember what song it was and then it clicked in my head, it was the song I had hummed the day I had sat with him at the table on the rainy day so many years ago.

He then softly began to speak the words out as he ran his fingers through my hair, “Please let me take you, out of the darkness and into the light. Because I have faith in you that you're going to make it through another night. Stop thinking about the easy way out, there's no need to go and blow the candle out. Because you're not done. You're far too young and the best is yet to come. Oh, honey here comes a lullaby, your very own lullaby.” He started humming the song, I smiled at the song remembering the day we started talking to one another.

I took a deep breath, loving the fact that the pain in my chest was gone, and that I felt better now, now that I knew Sandor would be by my side and that I also had my family.

Listening to Sandor’s humming and the words he spoke I slowly felt myself drift away, and fell into a deep sleep.


End file.
